What A Mess......

For the last week or so I have not been feeling my best and as time went on that feeling has worsened.


I have a daily ,intermittent eye twitch- no doubt aggravated by my spasmodic sleeping pattern and constant addiction to my phone and laptop.
I constantly am taken aback by my appearance- when I can muster up the courage to look in a mirror that is! Regular supping of  alcohol  ( up to 4 bottles of wine a week at times) plus the ensuing 'Munchies' has left me with a very obvious belly - I am mortified! My Hypothyroidism also doesn't help.
I have Blepharitis in both eyes that means my eyes feel sticky and can water quite badly at times.
I have noticed my hair is thinning ( thanks to my underactive thyroid)
My ,once, white straight teeth are now tinged yellow,crooked with gaps and several are missing due to grinding them ( one Dentist was in shock that I had managed to split a tooth vertically)
I am also a longtime Nail Biter ( I have had moments of growth but nothing permanent).


My mental health has taken a knock, the social anxiety that plagues me at times reared its head ( though milder than previously experienced ) just before my journey to Llanelli for a two night stay.
Apart from a meal deal in my hotel room (on arrival) that I didn't get the chance to have on the train and one very dry vegan breakfast the following morning in a Wetherspoons (thanks for shouting'Vegan Breakfast' ) -I didn't eat (the  room included breakfast but I couldn't bring myself to enter the restaurant on my own) .I had hoped by being in a more relaxed environment I'd somehow 'right' myself - but I couldn't wait to leave as I was hypersensitive to every look or laugh. I was/am conscious of an agitation within me- a need to be alone, at home . My eyes were playing up ( watering and heavy with sleep) so this added to my agitation and general low mood.

I am not 100% Vegan yet( I struggle with toiletries and the odd snack- usually ice lollies and biscuits though they have been vegetarian - so I need to make a decision in that way.) I am not a cook, so I need to plan meals more as I get lazy and can live on baked potatoes and Spag Bol for weeks !
I have been Teatotal since August 29th (my 59th Birthday) Moderation isn't an option.

Brummie Gal in Cardiff

I have also questioned this Blogs direction- for a long time I haven't been enjoying the Free Events section- and to be honest- there are other bloggers that do a much more varied version ( both free and paid events intertwined) so I have decided to drop the Free Events section as of this month and concentrate on other sections of my blog .I will post Events as I come across them on my Facebook Page or feature any event I attend but I am discontinuing a Monthly post.

In short, I'm taking stock - there will be changes, there already have been a few.I will ride this roller coaster and though I may exit it a little wobbled legged I will complete it - for the good ....of me .


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